Category: Blog

Light crying about the dead dogs I grew up with. Light crying, as I didn’t cry very long.

But I predicted something would wake up after crying. No bug woke the Steam Deck up, you can’t see any bug on the video. Even though a spider may have moved in. Now a spider could wake the Linux PC up without much effort, just crawl on the cable for keyboard or mouse, and that might wake it up, well maybe not the keyboard cable. If the mouse moves just a little, it wakes up.

But the Mac has woken itself up too, and that requires clicking a button. Not sure spiders weigh enough to click buttons. If somebody or somebodies I can’t see, are waking stuff up, no need to make it hard and leave it on the Mac inputs. The Deck is easy to wake up, you can just touch the screen. You don’t have to press a button.

If somebody I can’t see is waking it up, I can’t really answer who. I thought my dad was doing it, and confirmed it by crying about him, and then something waking up. It could all be a coincidence, at least that’s what scientists know. As scientists know you don’t exist after dying, we are just robots after all. I already know I can leave my body, so I don’t think that.

Conscious isn’t the right word for what people and animals and everybody else is. Apparently it’s a shared consciousness. That means, by yourself, you aren’t conscious. So I guess you can call it a soul. Or a life essence. If animals and all the other life, is sharing the same consciousness, I guess dogs know how to read and write, or they can.

And if this is a random event of life on Earth, why the fuck is almost if not all other life on other planets, humanoid? That is intelligent life, except I wouldn’t call humans intelligent, we are destroying our own planet. So they don’t believe any other life exists either, just like the majority of religious people.

I need to buy some of Rudolf Steiner’s books. One coupon I have for Kobo.com expires on the 1st I think. Think they sent me a 25% coupon too. When does that expire? Says the third, and only select books, and the 20% coupon seems to say the same thing, so might be useless.

That hasn’t happened for a long time. Usually is the Steam Deck that wakes up.

Guess HomeKit was working tonight, I got a notification when it woke up. Think I looked at it on my watch, looked like it was awake, when I returned, I checked the recordings, and it did wake up.

The software I use to make my camera HomeKit doesn’t always work, either it checks the camera for motion at the wrong time, or it gets updated and it’s fixed but then another update breaks it. I won’t be paying for their NVR. Ain’t worth the money, if the software doesn’t work for basic usage, I don’t want to pay to beta test the NVR.

I may have a new NAS, well not an actual NAS, more like an Orange Pi, coming soon. I may offload the security camera footage to it. Might wait though a while, until I have another drive to back it up to.

I didn’t want USB made drives, they don’t last as long, I don’t think. Didn’t bother with a NAS drive, costs only $20 or so more, but 7200RPM, that means it might be hotter, so got a slow ass compute drive instead. Not paying more for a WD drive that is less RPM, not worth it. And I have bad luck, the WD NAS drive might die too soon. I have a 6 TB compute drive that is fine, can be slow, but who cares.

I also need a drive to put in a fire safe, in case there’s a fire, or flood. The enclosure I wanted, a dual bay one costs too much, $160 I think before tax. Maybe I’ll buy it someday. I might buy that brand’s rugged 3.5″ enclosure, for one drive, for the fire safe drive. More protection the better.

And don’t buy anything from Amazon, unless you can’t buy it anywhere else. Slow ass shipping for some stuff. They don’t like shipping stuff together.

Maybe the Mac mini will get that $160 enclosure, an expensive Mac, needs an expensive enclosure.

Sounds like it doesn’t happen instantly. But if the time is backwards where you go when you die, does that mean you reincarnate before your last life? No idea, don’t think the times are linked.

Heaven has no time. So if you go there, I guess you aren’t coming back here. Humans may go extinct here, so I may have to reincarnate somewhere else.

The good news is, you really will have no idea who you were the last life. I think the cleansing process erases your memory, but if it can take a long ass time, good luck guessing who you were.

You probably aren’t somebody who died within 10 years of when you were born.

And most souls, may require seeing their entire family before reincarnating. Not sure how far back though. As then, you might as well see every human before reincarnating, go back far enough, you are related.

Is the amount of cleansing time the same for all humans? If so, maybe every human gets to see and reincarnate at the same time. That doesn’t exactly make sense, because new babies are being born. Guess not reincarnating to the same time.

Do they have straight jackets there?

Oh and God believes in free will, the only ones that don’t, are bad Aliens, and humans. God isn’t trying to control us. Humans try to control others, with religion.

Lookup Rudolf Steiner on a book site, like Kobo.com, Amazon sucks. Didn’t look it up on Amazon, I probably won’t lookup books on there anymore, Kobo is better. The coupons they keep spamming me with, is it the entire order? I got to buy some of their books. I probably won’t read em, but I’ll collect em. Maybe the power will go out.

Either way, I’m screwed, perhaps not as screwed as some people. I’ll let God decide that.

That might explain why I do absolutely nothing. But that may screw you too, you may reincarnate into nothing. Did they warn me? Wouldn’t do any good, I’m too primitive and stupid. They probably warned me about everything.

Hmm not being somebody who died within the last ten years, might be wrong. One guy reincarnated, and some of his family still alive. He got to meet his daughters. Except, he’s a kid now.

How he remembered that, but not the other place, I have no idea. Perhaps some directly reincarnate.

Well, good luck, saying what happens when you die, looks like it can be very different for everybody.

If you look at the artwork or whatever, they are holding adult humans in their hands. How will their giant cock fit in a human pussy?

And why does Ancient Aliens really not want God to exist?

No God makes no sense. Multiple dimensions, lots of life, humans still exist somehow.

Now do those giants have trans women? Perhaps they come from the place that accidentally made this place.

Apparently 110Hz will tune you into them. How do I generate 110Hz to my brain? It has an actual brain change. But if I tune into them, I might be able to ask, if they have trans women. They claimed to be Gods in the past. I don’t see why Gods would have a blood and flesh body though. Perhaps we were too stupid for them to tell us they are Aliens. Or us in a different shell. Or they just want to be Gods. Or they are Gods incarnated into giants. But that near death experiencer, only saw one God. So how do you get tons of Gods if there’s only one God?

Well, it felt like somebody was by me in bed this morning. Probably Tonka, or a memory of Tonka doing that. I felt somebody on my back side. That’s where she was when it got really cold, I didn’t wake up, because she got on the bed, and kept me warm all night.

As far as I’m concerned, dogs sleep on beds. It isn’t my bed, it’s her bed. She could kick me off of the bed, even though I can’t see her. But she won’t, because she is made of love, and loves way better then humans.

They said giant human hybrids. That means they got humans pregnant. Either by sex, or a lab. The stories about that, seem to say sex. As they seem to be doing it, because they find human women attractive. Clearly they want sex. Oh wait, wanting sex? Aren’t Gods supposed to be better then humans? That is, they don’t have primitive urges. Or if they do, they can control themselves, and/or turn it off.

Well, dmesg will tell you if something connected by Bluetooth. But I disabled Bluetooth, just to see, and it woke itself up again.

The only last thing to test, is if the internet is the cause, like a hacker. But it needs internet to download game updates, so I probably won’t test that.

But if it’s because it’s online, you can blame the NSA. That document, claims the Men In Black aren’t humans, or I think that’s what it says. I think I’ve heard they could be robots. I didn’t read all of that document. Didn’t download, cause you have to login, not that they don’t know I accessed it.

Now to go shit again. Damn Tomato Street. Damn me for eating it all at dinner time.

Update 3/16/23
It woke up two times so far today. I think it would still wake up with the internet disabled most likely.

Well, I don’t think the screen is being touched to wake it up. I just touched it, and it showed the password box. Need to test when the screen is off.

Maybe the Deck is as insane as me.

Considering the Mac mini has woken up on it’s own, it may be unexplainable. The Mac mini you have to click a button, moving the mouse won’t wake it up. Hmm, clicking the A button shows the password box too.

So how the fuck is it waking up? I think all the buttons show the password box, at least if the screen is awake. Does the Steam button wake it up? Cause no password box if you click that button.

Got to wait for the screen to sleep.

And the Steam button will wake it up, and no password box. So it can be woke up, without the password box showing.

Perhaps humans aren’t ready to know we were meant to be slaves. But then again, that could be misinformation.

There’s no way to know if anything she says is true.

But people being killed for talking about stuff is BS. Like from the last Ancient Aliens, apparently a guy remote viewed an Alien/human base, and ended up dead. They cremated him, and didn’t tell his wife he was dead. Sounds like somebody poisoned him. You might be able to confirm that story, well not the Alien/human base part, the part of him dying, and being cremated, without telling his wife. That leads me to believe he was telling the truth of what he saw.

And no God still doesn’t make sense, yes Aliens may want to control us. But how does love exist without God? Not to mention, Tonka visiting me. Supposedly God made a dimension only humans can enter. They might as well be a God, if they can do that.

But God asking why humans don’t do what they made us out of, love, the Reptilians aren’t contributing to anything we do? Well, also, humans easily make very bad choices.

Sounds like whoever created us to begin with, could have had good intentions. But who knows. There’s actually a story, that they originally wanted us as slaves. But why would God make such a mistake to make slaves to begin with? None of it makes any sense whatsoever.

Thanks to nukes, we may go extinct, so there goes their slaves. I wouldn’t be a good slave anyways. If nukes don’t do it, there’s still global warming.

If it fades out on camera, it’s probably dust. And that UFO dust, must land on the ceiling. That is if you are judging where it’s going by what you see. Might just be close and going off camera. So tiny dust looks huge close to the camera I guess.

Enjoy the dust videos, I’m too lazy to delete them or dust.

Oh and the greys may be deceiving us, thanks to a crop circle for trying to tell us something. Says somebody is deceiving us, and there’s a picture of the classic grey Alien. Either they are warning us, or we are being warned about them. But also, whoever made it, could be deceiving us as well. So good luck.

Is it gray or grey?

Nothing has been waking itself up, like my monitor, or the Steam Deck. That’s enough proof for me, that it’s unexplainable.

Explainable, it wouldn’t have just stopped by itself.

Now how do I get them to come back? Might not have actually been that long since stuff stopped waking itself up. But that’s too long. Company I can’t see, is better then no company. Tonka will come here whenever she wants most likely. But I don’t know if she was waking anything up. I still think my dad was doing that.

I sort of have proof my dad was doing it. I was crying about having no relationship with him, and him being dead, and when I left the bathroom, something woke up, might have been the Steam Deck.

The only thing with less stuff happening, is I might not cry as often. They should still do it anyways, I probably need to cry 24/7.

My other site may never be restored, as still no response to my ticket, 6+ hours. The email didn’t tell me anything about it, and none of their sites seem to say anything.

Oh and they use PHP that doesn’t get security updates. I could ask for a newer PHP, but that’ll take 6+ hours for a response of “No”.

DirectAdmin doesn’t say what I need either.

Well, that’s why it’s cheaper, their support is slow as fuck. Their billing support isn’t as slow. Guess they wanted my money. Maybe I should uncancel the old hosting. And cancel this. Texas still isn’t a great place to host your site though, if you like free speech. Free speech as in, everything, including stuff republicans don’t like. Free speech isn’t just for some people. Or for some views.

6+ hours of downtime, if you have a problem. Wouldn’t recommend $2 a month hosting, if you need your sites online. Wouldn’t recommend shared hosting either.

If you go to Select PHP version, the actual page, not the widget, you can see other PHP versions, but changing it, does nothing, that is setting PHP 8.1 to the current. Or maybe you have to wait for the web server to reboot. Probably 6+ hours.

Update
Everything is fine now, new PHP is being used, and I have the SSH port. Don’t change the PHP version with the widget in the sidebar. That probably screwed it up. They should actually disable that “feature”. Disable the widget, not the entire ability to change PHP versions. If you change with that, and then with the other thing, the PHP version won’t change. You then have to email support to get it fixed. Remember, they manage it, you don’t. Which is good for security, not good if you are impatient.

At least, I’ll probably never need support again, only this site uses PHP. And that’ll probably always be the case.

Apparently there’s no official way to disable mouse movement from waking up the monitor. If using X11 in Linux. I could use Wayland, but who knows if that’s stable enough yet, and don’t know if you can prevent mouse movement from waking up the monitor using Wayland either.

If loud ass shit outside is vibrating my apartment, and the mouse slightly moves, then it’ll wake up. The Mac mini seems to require clicking a button. It has woke up for unknown reasons in the past though, the Mac mini.

The Steam Deck likes waking up too, and that’s without the USB switch on the Deck input or output or switch, whatever you call it. Not even on the Steam Deck input on the monitor either. And it had some suspicious timing once. You can wake it up by touching the screen. It doesn’t have a regular mouse always connected.

Good news is, the Mac mini is using less RAM, I guess killing the systemstats or whatever process every hour or whatever did the trick. So maybe I don’t need a Mac mini with more RAM. They brought back a memory leak with that process, I don’t know if it’s fixed in the latest macOS 12, I’m not updating to macOS 13 any time soon. I’ll leave the cron job enabled, as I’m too lazy to keep disabling and re enabling it. Apparently Apple doesn’t like fixing bugs. Just look at the Mac Rumors forum.

If it had more RAM, it might be able to run Guild Wars 2 though, with Crossover. But if I get a Mac mini with more RAM, I should probably get the max RAM you can get, since it’s soldered down. And how much is the M2 Pro Mac mini with the max RAM? Probably more then I’ll ever have.